This post is spawned from a weird radio commercial I heard on the way to the office this morning. In it, a friendly male voice plainly says “In Minnesota, it is illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head.”

I wondered if it was still illegal if the duck in question was cooked.

This led me to think about other food laws and bans that are currently in place in America. The foie gras ban in California for 2012. This whole business with the Roquefort tariff — where cheese lovers will soon pay a 300-percent markup for the cave-aged, French bleu – is a current hot-button topic, too. (The L.A. Times recently reported on a delay in the tariff)

I started searching for other serious food bans and tariffs, but then realized that exposing our country’s strange food-related laws would be more fun. Read on, dear readers, and judge for yourself if these are too wacky to be true.

• In Alaska, it’s illegal to give a beer – or any other alcoholic beverage – to a moose.
• Missouri cities can levy a tax to support a band, as long as the city’s mayor plays the piccolo and band members can eat peas with a knife.
• In Greene, N.Y., don’t eat peas and walk backwards down a street during a concert. It’s illegal.
• Clawson, Mich.: There’s an actual law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his animals. (I hope this means “sleep,” as in “catch some Zzs” and not “sleep” as in “sexy time.” Gah.)
• In Texas, if you take more than three sips of beer while standing, you’ve broken the law.
• Connecticut law says that a pickle is officially a pickle only if it bounces.
• To Idaho women in hetero relationships: It’s against state law for your man to give you a box of chocolates that weighs less than 50 pounds. (Cash in, sisters!)
• Residents living in a small town in Colorado may not own chickens, but may own up to three turkeys.
• In Gainesville, Ga., it is illegal to eat chicken with a fork.

Sources: MundayWeb, TurtleZen, The News Journal, Mental Floss, Roadside America.

– Cynthia Furey

Side note: March Madness is a month-long challenge in which I will post Monday through Friday for the entire month. Thank you for reading!

Dim sum is one of those beautiful mid-morning traditions that’s been around for ages in Hong Kong and China. Without getting into its historical traditions (read here for that), I’d like to point out some of its modern traditions. These are the traditional pre-dining hoops you have to jump through before you can taste that char siu bao or nibble on steamed chicken feet.

You must do the following to ensure an excellent dim sum meal:

• 1. Choose a Saturday or Sunday, between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m.
• 2. Drive across town(s) and sit through at least 20 minutes of traffic.
• 3. Arrive at a crowded, strip-mall parking lot.
• 4. Acquire temporary, vulture-like qualities while watching finished diners slip out of their compact spaces. Swiftly maneuver your car into the space before someone else does (trying not to make eye contact with the other guy waiting for the same space). ***
• 5. Take a number from the shrill-voiced hostess standing at the podium with a microphone she doesn’t really need.
• 6. Wait until she shouts your number in both English and Chinese. Three times.
• 7. Wave your number around and cheer — you’ve completed the model and can now begin your excellent meal in a ballroom-like dining space next to a giant fish tank under a glass chandelier.

Unless these lucky-seven steps are completed, you’re going to have a sub-par dim sum meal. Why? Because if you’re at a dim sum restaurant with an empty parking lot and no wait-time, it’s probably not that great (this applies to more than just dim sum). The harder you have to work for your dim sum meal, the better it will be.

*** Regarding driving: If you live in a town/city where you do not need to own a car, transportation to/from dim sum restaurant may include any type of wheel or rail, or walking.

Photos used in this post are from Capital Seafood BBQ & Dim Sum Express, 2700 Alton Parkway, Irvine, Calif. 949-252-8188. Though not the greatest dim sum, it’ll do in a pinch.

– Cynthia Furey

Side note: March Madness is a month-long challenge in which I will post Monday through Friday for the entire month. Thank you for reading!

Oh, the places you’ll go. This set of links is all about what’s going on in the food world outside of our kitchens. Have a good weekend!

A slide show of highlights from the San Francisco International Chocolate Salon last week: Choffy, dutch chocolate cream liqueur and chocolate art. From YumSugar.

• Morimoto, Le Cirque, the Spotted Pig and Melissa’s Produce will be at Yankee Stadium starting next week. (Anyone taking notes, Dodger Stadium? Angel Stadium?) The New York Times
• L.A. eatery Animal lives up to its name with a new dish: Foie Gras Loco Moco, with beef, rice, teriyaki sauce, a slab of foie gras, Spam and quail egg. Tasting Table via Eater LA.
• Gourmet explores “Eight Great Rock Venues with Great Food,” written by a former member of a British rock band.
• Andrew Knowlton, aka the BA Foodist, writes five tips for handling a bad waiter.
• Dorie Greenspan is a guest at cookbook author Patricia Well’s dinner table in Paris.

– Cynthia Furey

Side note: March madness is a month-long challenge in which I will post Monday through Friday for the entire month. Thank you for reading!