Seven-step dim sum
Dim sum is one of those beautiful mid-morning traditions that’s been around for ages in Hong Kong and China. Without getting into its historical traditions (read here for that), I’d like to point out some of its modern traditions. These are the traditional pre-dining hoops you have to jump through before you can taste that char siu bao or nibble on steamed chicken feet.
You must do the following to ensure an excellent dim sum meal:
- 1. Choose a Saturday or Sunday, between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m.
- 2. Drive across town(s) and sit through at least 20 minutes of traffic.
- 3. Arrive at a crowded, strip-mall parking lot.
- 4. Acquire temporary, vulture-like qualities while watching finished diners slip out of their compact spaces. Swiftly maneuver your car into the space before someone else does (trying not to make eye contact with the other guy waiting for the same space). ***
- 5. Take a number from the shrill-voiced hostess standing at the podium with a microphone she doesn’t really need.
- 6. Wait until she shouts your number in both English and Chinese. Three times.
- 7. Wave your number around and cheer — you’ve completed the model and can now begin your excellent meal in a ballroom-like dining space next to a giant fish tank under a glass chandelier.
Unless these lucky-seven steps are completed, you’re going to have a sub-par dim sum meal. Why? Because if you’re at a dim sum restaurant with an empty parking lot and no wait-time, it’s probably not that great (this applies to more than just dim sum). The harder you have to work for your dim sum meal, the better it will be.
*** Regarding driving: If you live in a town/city where you do not need to own a car, transportation to/from dim sum restaurant may include any type of wheel or rail, or walking.
Photos used in this post are from Capital Seafood BBQ & Dim Sum Express, 2700 Alton Parkway, Irvine, Calif. 949-252-8188. Though not the greatest dim sum, it’ll do in a pinch.
– Cynthia Furey
Side note: March Madness is a month-long challenge in which I will post Monday through Friday for the entire month. Thank you for reading!
March 30th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
i’ve heard of capital seafood! have you ever been to Pearl in Rancho Bernardo or Jasmine in Clairemont Mesa? (both in San Diego)
March 31st, 2009 at 12:44 am
Brilliant.
March 31st, 2009 at 9:54 am
Hi, I just stumbled onto your blog. Your entire list is oh so true! It was hiliarious reading it.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Hilarious and so true! The best dim sum places can be identified by the lack of parking, crowd of noisy patrons waiting for their table (often spilling to the sidewalk outside the restaurant) and the long wait time to be seated. If its easy to find parking and there’s no wait, its best to go elsewhere, lol.
March 31st, 2009 at 2:43 pm
LOVE this.
What’s your favorite dim sum restaurant outside of OC?
March 31st, 2009 at 9:28 pm
I LOVE DIM SUM! Char siu bao is my fave. And my go-to dim sum place in L.A. is still good ol’ Ocean Seafood. I’ve never been to Capital before. I should make the trek down to Irvine!
April 1st, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Points 1 through 7 – check! The harder you have to fight for it, the better it tastes!